Soco Amaretto Lime

I have come to several realizations with in the past few nights; realizations that have seriously helped me come close to achieving my first summer goal. So here’s the recap of my weekend + Monday.

Friday night was a scavenger hunt with a bunch of high schoolers, which I was into, skeptical but I was into the idea. Sure they were slightly immature, but it’s nice to hang out with people who are still young, not that I’m not young but yeah. It was refreshing to see people that I hadn’t seen in a while, or even years.

Saturday, I went up to Albany. We had a party at the 511 household, it was interesting. Let’s just say, I’m glad to be out of there. There’s a lack of communication everywhere I go, especially there, probably because I’m always in and out of Albany, I can’t stay in one place because of jobs, school, family, it just gets overwhelming.

Sunday, I drove home, and watch desperate housewives, and cried my eyes out.
Monday I slept until 12, which I never do, and spent the day watching soup operas. Carolyn came over and than we watch Gossip Girl. Than me and fatty spent the night driving around talking, which is where some my very accurate convictions came about.

I hate to write it, or say it out loud, but most of the people who say they like me, really like the thought of me, not me. It’s all a game. Sure they want me because I’m cute as hell, but what’s more important are the relationship and the name attached to what “we” are. Sure that sucks, because surprisingly, I actually had feelings. I know, I know, the bitch has feeling surprising right?

Maybe that’s not the scenario, so ill give you another one, they don’t actually want me to like them. They think they like me, but they really like the thought of having something to be upset about, the chase. It’s all about the chase. They want a Mr. Big (only in girl form of course) and I will be there Mr. Big, not because I am their Mr. Big but because they want me to be their Mr. Big. Did that make sence?

Which brings me to, the short second I was looking for a relationship that has now terminated. I am now off the market and just keeping to myself. And maybe giving the cute kid who I see from time to time my number ;) but not in hopes of starting a relationship, just in hopes of getting to know someone new. That’s all I want is something fresh and new.

So the few things that I have to say to you fine people, well, just go with the flow. Maybe everything doesn’t happen for a reason, maybe Kanye was wrong and we actually do have free will, maybe not. The thing of it all is, that we don’t know, and at this point, I don’t really care. And finally, be yourself, find someone new, don’t worry about what they will think of you, they will like you. I promise. Screw the Mr. Big’s, and screw the Chuck’s of you’re lives, because when it comes down to it, who says we need to wait for them, I could probably find someone way cooler, way nicer, and way more cute that them, lets be honest. Oh and those things called feelings that everyone is talking about, screw them too. We can get over the Bigs, and the Chucks, we just need allow ourselves to do it. So do it!

I miss you girls and I love you always.









“Everybody wake up, It’s time to get down” - Brand New