Change

"The key to change... is to let go of fear."

~Rosanne Cash~

As I was watching Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill tonight i realized that people are afraid of change. I think that it is easier for people to pretend that people and themselves are changing and choose to ignore it instead of going with it. In the GG episode tonight things changed drastically between Chuck and Blair and, me, being lame, cried because it was depressing, but in real life everything is changing between my friends and my education.  It's easy, I think, when our friends and our life stays constant because then life is predictable, but life is full of surprises, which makes living exciting and harder. 

It is the end of the year and I have to study for finals, pack up my belongings and find time to hang out with all my good friends before the Wednesday when it hit me: I'm afraid of change. By Wednesday I will be back home working, missing my college friends and all of the fun we had during out Sophomore year. What makes it more difficult is the fact that Meghan and I are doing the study abroad program. By the end of July, hopefully, we will be on an airplane on our way to Ireland. I think it was easier to accept that it was the end of the year when I knew that I was coming back in August and reconnecting with my college pals. Part of me cannot wait to go to Ireland and meet brand new friends and dudes :), but the other part of me is scared because my life will change after I go. I should be embracing change and looking forward to what lies ahead in this crazy thing we call a journey, but change is terrifying. 

This past year I have made different friends, friends of mine have fought with each other and have had falling outs and my friends have made other friends. Sophomore year has been very different than freshmen year because last year I was timid and shy and didn't branch out to meet new people. Being scared is just a feeling and something that can be overcome if the person is willing to be strong and confident. With a little help from my friends I gained the courage to befriend people I thought didn't like me and break out of my shell. While I was out doing my own thing, my friends mat other people and made friends with them, which is cool, but scary at first because I had the feeling of being replaced. I know that it was ridiculous, but everyone has that type of feeling when friends make other friends because they don't want to loose that person. However, I think that if you are susceptible to change is easier because you can accept and move on with life, instead of wishing your life is still like it was yesteryear. 

Well, I'm exhausted and have two finals plus packing tomorrow to do! Let me know what you think...

<3 always, 

~ Kay Bee