I’ve been doing a lot of research, and by research I mean watching "Sex and the City" episodes, and movies that are mad lame like, “He’s just not that into you”, and during this so called “research” a few questions have been raised and I was curious on all of your opinions. We all know that girls are delusional, but so are guys. Guys play these games with you, whether they like you or not. To most people, emotions are a joke, and the only emotions that matter, are his or hers. 3 weeks ago (give or take a few days or even weeks) I thought that you have to do what is good for you, “Do what you want” and when it comes to another person, just understand that YOU are the most important. But now I am realizing that maybe that isn’t the best way to go about things. I wish I could tell you girls what is the right way to go about things but I out of my element.So continuing with my conclusions that I made after the “research” I did: Isn’t it crazy to think that there is someone out there who could possibly be made for you, and only you. But what if you have already met that person? What if you already happily married when you encounter the “one” you are “supposed” to be with? Do you drop everything to be with that person, or continue living a mediocre life? And what about the other person, like I said, how do you know when you should “do what you want” and when you should do what is greater good for the greater number?
Deception. Everyone is a part of it, whether it’d be you who is deceiving people or someone who has deceived you. Deception hurts. Have you ever found out something about someone, that you knew to be true to begin with, but having the hard evidence makes even more legitimate? It hurts. Or if what you find out isn’t something that person is doing to you, but doing it to a friend? That hurts. I’ve been struggling with trust, lately. I’m sure every human in the entire universe has some form of trust issues. It’s something a person will never get over, but learn to cope and deal with. Currently, I can’t deal. People have been proving me right, in things I do not want to be right, and proving me wrong in things I do not want to be wrong. I am pretty sure I have a good conception of who everyone who writes on this blog is, all good, so please, don’t prove me wrong.
Another concept I’ve been fooling around with is the fact that life really does come full circle. You are born, innocent and through the course of your life you lose that innocence. But of course that’s the idea of living life rather than just existing. Some of us have been though things as hard a death, all the way to something as petty as losing your car keys, or
breaking up with a boyfriend, I mean the list of things that could happen to any one individual is unlimited. My point being, those of us who have been through an extremely difficult time in our lives have just maybe sped up the process of losing our innocence. And while something as negative, and as awful as losing a person by reason of death, or a breakup, or an ending of a friendship, these can all be looked as positives. The way you handled those tragic moments have shaped you, and your personality. A person isn’t defined as the events that happen in their lives, but how they handle themselves during those events. And when you die or are mad old, you start almost gaining innocence back. Think about it, old people are completely clueless on when the younger generations are doing, hell my mom (who isn’t even old) didn’t realize that kids who in 6th grade, 12 years old, are having sex. Christ I didn’t even know that. So as we lose a certain type of innocence, you also gain an different type of innocence. Right?Okay, I know I’ve been rambeling on about random stuff, but I need to ask, Do you think that horoscopes and the idea of astrology are all accurate, and real? If so scope the scene on this site (www.excite.com) I don’t know if I believe in that stuff, but that website sure does make me want to believe in it. I also want to hear more about this long lasting conflict we have all been having of destiny vs. free will. I just can’t seem to decide. I go from one day being all about the idea of free will, to the next of being complexly set on the idea that our life has destiny.
Even though I have been in Albany or the past 18 days or so I am glad that we all have had a break from each other. Don’t get me wrong, I seriously miss you girls, but it makes me realize that not having you around sucks and makes me really feel lucky to know you guys.
"And look at the stars, don't they remind you just how feeble we are? Well it used to, I guess cause ever since I tried trying not to find every little meaning in my life it's been fine I've been cool with my new golden rule...I'm over the analyzing tonight." - John Mayer
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