my leg is numb.

thought #1: So yesterday I went to this concert with some friends of mine. As i stood there in the pouring rain, listening to the music, I couldn't help but notice this cutesie couple a little ways in front of me. Watching them act as couples do, I was forced to think about the relationships that I have in my life. In doing so, I realized, I have a very hard time letting people in. I don't know why. I've never really had that significant heart break that people talk about. I've never really been betrayed in such a way that would cause me to put no trust in people. Whatever the reason, however, I just have a hard time. There is so much that I feel that people don't know about me. So many aspects of my life that few people really know about, minus my close friends and family. Why do we build these walls? What are we so scared of?

thought #2: why do I find it so hard to admit to myself that not all people have the truest intentions. For 20 years, I've always tried to find the best in others, always tried to highlight the positive in the personalities of people I am surrounded by. The other day, however, I finally heard something that made me realize that although we may feel guilt-ridden, it is only human nature to dislike other people. Yes, I know, duh! But really, I'm being serious here. What do you do when you realize that one of your "friends" really isn't the truest of people. You cant just cut that person off... or can you? Do you keep going as if he/she did nothing? Keep that "friends" label there for convenience, or leave them behind. I may just be rambling and not make sense, but I don't really give a crapola.

thought #3: holy shit is life fragile. sometimes it scares me just how fragile it really is.

so to sum it all up:
1) I live hiding behind the great wall of china
2) I'm a nut who over analyzes things
3) life=frah-gee-lay. must be Italian

p.s. please tell me you got my reference there girls.