There have been a few things I have been struggling with in recent weeks that I can't decide if these opinions are good, or bad. I guess that's for each person to decide. I will start with the oldest events, and work my way up until I reach what has been recently been bothering me.

1. June 25, 2009- Michael Jackson Dies.

Now it is safe to say that Michael Jackson is an eccentric dude, but who’s to say that he is a bad person? After his death, people have been making rude comments like, “So what he was a child molester” But the thing of it is, I for one, truly believe he wasn’t. For a parent of a son or daughter who was molested to take money, no matter what amount, in trade for the innocence of a person who “molested” your child is complete bullshit. I would thing, a matter of fact, I know, that I would have wanted a man who owned a place called “Neverland ranch” and whom had thousands of children visit him per day, arrested if he had ever touched my child in a sexual matter. I wouldn’t want another child to go through what my child had. To me, the parents, were just looking for money. I don’t think Michael would do something like that. Secondly, I find it, disgusting that people only saw him for his money, talent, and fame. His life was miserable. By the age of 10 he was pimped out by his so called “father” Joe Jackson. Now tell me, what kind of childhood is that. He grew up only knowing people who wanted him for one thing, his money. The drugs he was taking were to numb the harsh realities of his money driven life. This may sound like pity, but it isn’t, it is respect. I have MAD respect for MJ. And if anyone would like to argue otherwise, come find me.

2. Massapequa, LI (lawg islan)- Parents

As you all probably know, I work at a summer camp at my old Elementary school, and up until now I have had little to absolutely no problems dealing with the parents of children. In fact, most of them are very grateful that we run a great camp especially for the price they pay ( I did the math, its only 3 dollars and hour for babysitting from 9-3 for 6 weeks). But the other day, we had a parent who was quite the opposite of what I am describing. Listen to this story, it is insanity. So, last Wednesday two of our camp counselors had to deal with an disrespectful, and out of control camper. When they told the child that he was going down to the director of the camp, he laughed and said “ Please.” So in an attempt to get this child under control, they took the boys lower arm and brought him to our director. After having a talking to the boy, the boy continued on his day at Summer rec. The next morning, the mother of the boy decided to talk to our director, and by talk I mean yell at, saying “what kind of camp are you running, if those boys don’t get fired I am going to call my attorneys” (not in those exact words but that’s the gist of it. The two counselors, who may I add are very good with the kids, got fired, not by the decision of our director but by the decision of the administration. (Complete BS) So, yesterday (Friday) we had to move some counselors around and we moved one of the best counselors to the 3rd grade boys, the group in which the awful child was in. I hung around that group to make sure there were no problems. Later in the afternoon, I witnessed the litter fucker grab another child by the wrists, violently and push him down. So I brought him down to our director. At the end of camp, the mother talked to the director yet again, and wasn’t to happy with us. (how are you mad at 3 counclors when your child is clearly at fault.) We found out that the kid go two counselors fired, and is in attempted to get me in trouble as well as our director and asst. director, and the kid isn’t even coming back to camp. How can a parent of a child ruin two kids summers, by getting the fired, when your child is a ungrateful, spiteful prick? I don’t understand people. How mean, how rude?! UGH.

3. In recent days I have been having this odd idea that the world, and feeling and all that is just nonsense, unuseful, and pointless. It doesn’t matter how we treat people, they are just going to die anyway, and be forgotten. So than why do I care so much, or why does anyone care enough, to make someone feel better, or to make someone feel miserable. (reading that back makes little to no sense, it’s really hard to put into words what I am trying to explain.) I guess what I am trying to say, as much as I love the people who are in my life now, and I am so grateful for everyone to be a part of my life, and a part of me, It all doesn’t matter. We are all going to be forgotten, and what we have done will not have made a difference. The more I think of the world as meanless, and people as absolutely nothing, the more I feel content, happy, and fulfilled. Is that completely irrational? Actually I don’t care if it is, it gives me the answers I need to hear to make myself the person who I need to be.